not pregnant again

I'm not pregnant again.

This was round #2 of IUI (intra uterine insemination.) I was three days late when I started today. I was going to go in to the Dr. to take a Pregnancy test today. Then I started. Then I read a friend's blog that said she was pregnant with baby #2.

I don't understand. Lord, I don't understand. I want to be happy for my friends, but I don't understand why you're giving them this gift, over and over again, and withholding it from us. I don't understand.

Help me God. Help me to love you even if you never answer my prayer. Help me to love you. Help me to trust you even when I don't understand and it doesn't seem fair. Help me to feel your love, Lord. Please show me you love me.