Last year at this time Walt and I were in dire financial straits. We were starting Walt's company, and I was freelance designing and occassionally taking temp jobs just to try not to go even further into debt than we were. We didn't tell anyone how bad it really was(pride) but there were months when we had $200 in the bank, and two weeks until we had to have $1500 to pay our bills. This happened more than once, and every time God provided what we needed to make it. One month it was a tax return...another month it was the selling of the beloved Jeep (after many months of trying to get rid of the thing)...another month was an unexpected "free" business loan from Walt's mom. And there were other things as well, always in the nick of time, always exactly what we needed.
Money was always a source of major stress. I didn't just shop at Crest, I bought the cheapest, off brand "food" items they had. And going out to eat or buying new clothes wasn't even a thought. Yet, when I started feeling sorry for myself, and mentioned to our little neighbor Tim Tim that we were poor and didn't have any money right now, it wasn't long before he showed up at my door with a package of Ramen noodles for me. In Tim Tim's world, when you are "poor", your electricity has been shut off long ago, and your water is next, and you eat Ramen noodles (dry) for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I kept that package of Ramen in my (always full) pantry for about a year, and whenever I saw it, it reminded me how rich we really are. I gave it back to Tim Tim a few months ago when he came over and told me (not the first time) how they didn't have any food, but he was happy, because they still had water! I have never gone hungry for lack of food. Thank you God!
Now we don't worry about money like we used to. We have been so blessed, sometimes it scares me...the responsibility that goes with this blessing is beyond me. What is the verse..."for he who has been given much, much will be demanded." or something like that. How are we supposed to use this blessing for God? It is all because of His grace, and favor, and miraculous blessings that we have anything more than Ramen noodles in our pantry.
Last year at this time I wept for a child. There was no option for even affording adoption of IVF...how could we think about such things when we couldn't even see through next months bills? When I think about the depth of that sadness and longing, it astounds me. It permeated everything. There wasn't a moment when it didn't overshadow me. Poor Walt. He was going through the same thing, but trying to stay strong for his wife, who blamed herself for her infertility. Barrenness is the perfect word to describe it. A barren landscape with no hope in sight. I often felt that God had promised me a child, but every month, I was devastated again. What a trial of faith!
And now, God has given us this little baby in the most miraculous way! After nearly two years, tests, and two rounds of failed artificial inseminations. We took one month "off" before our next step of another major surgery for me, and that was when God gave us our baby. Just a few more weeks and she will be here! How blessed, how happy, am I!!!
The Lord has truly been mindful of me. I am so loved. How could I ever doubt the depth of His love? Still, there are days when I forget, and don't feel close to Him. So I'm writing this down, so I will remember. It's easy to forget where I have been, and always be looking for something better. TODAY I am HAPPY and BLESSED!
Your pregnancy: 29 weeks
Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.
2 comments:
You are truly blessed! And I'm so glad that God puts Tim Tim and the other kids in your life to remind you of that...and for you to be a blessing to them! Now we need to see more real belly pics...not cartoon ones!
you are truly blessed! thank the Lord for all you have been given! what an exciting time in your life! hooray!
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